I awoke this morning and immediately put my butt on my cushion, apparently motivated by my interweb confessional yesterday.
For those of you who are interested in longer guided sits (meaning about 30 minutes), I have recently gotten really into Tara Brach's guided meditation podcasts. The thing is, when someone is talking to me, even if they are just a disembodied voice floating up from my iphone, I feel compelled to stay seated until they finish talking. I wish my students would have this instinct with which I am saddled. I am motivated to respect Tara enough to let her finish her piece before I get up, even if it is 27 minutes later and I'm itching to start thinking about how I am going to encourage Te'yonte to keep his head of his desk later that day. When I sit without the guide or a group, I am tempted to fudge it and peak at the timer multiple times to make sure it is still running, or pop up a few minutes before the timer has gonged (or elephant has trumpeted, when I forget to change my middle schooler-friendly alarm to my meditation setting). But the guide really helps me stay seated.
So I had a really lovely sit this morning, alternately scanning my body and blissfully following my thoughts down some rabbit hole before reawakening to the sound of Tara's voice. I found myself giddy on my bike ride to meet my dear friend Sasha for our weekly pre-work breakfast date. The sun was just coming up over the horizon, and the air was cool, but no longer crisp. Making the time this morning to sit meant that I was to ride my back without raging at the drivers who are so clearly and perpetually trying to take my life from me. It meant I was able to bring the more playful and optimistic sides of myself to the breakfast table and to my kiddos. 30 minutes to not be a big grouch for at least a few hours thereafter seems like a small price to pay. I just seem to struggle to remember that when my alarm goes off.
I also concluded my day by leading my second Teacher Yoga class. I offered this class 2 years ago before life got crazy-feeling, and back then had a core of 4-5 people who would show up each week to stretch and be present with me. Today there were 15 people there, representing both sides of the street (elementary and middle school staff) and all different roles in the school. It is pretty rad that we are all trying to take care of ourselves together at the end of a long day.
I still feel a bit uncomfortable as Yoga Teacher, in that I haven't taught for years and I have not had time to properly prepare. But if I always avoid doing things I am not quite ready for, I probably would spend a lot of time watching Parks and Recreation under my covers..eating chocolate chips. While I stayed glued to my mat last week, today I actually stepped off and offered adjustments, which is an amazing way to teach and connect with people. Hoping to continue to bring it as we move through the weeks and I scrape the rust of my long dormant skill set.
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Gratitudes April 2: Tara Brach morning meditation, warm bike ride, quick testing session= apples to apples, finally figuring out the Mathemagical Wizardry Prize after 3 solid mornings of labor, lattes and Takorean, rockin' CSQ document (Yes, that's a worksheet. Whatever, it was sweet.), dynamic staff discussion around student work, 15 lovely yogis entrusting me with their practice, evening porch sits with cookies, chocolate chips.
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